Archive for November, 2009
November 6, 2009 | By: Liz
I’ve had a lot going on recently — between travelling for work, representing clients, and getting ready to launch an egg donation agency my plate is pretty full — on top of which I have family issues and a back that doesn’t really want to let me stand up straight (a metaphor for my life if ever there was one). I was talking to my coach about how overwhelmed I feel and how does a business owner, lawyer, any professional person in general deal with that. I also feel that a recent visit to Dr. Chung to address my own reproductive issues brought up a lot of memories and feelings which just added to feeling like I couldn’t manage my own life. I know we all get there sometimes. The days you don’t want to get out of bed, the days you want to take a mental health day from work, the days nothing goes right and you find yourself digging through your pocket book for chocolate or xanax or both! LOL!
My coach gave me a lot to think about and work on and I must say that we worked through many of my personal issues surrounding feeling overwhelmed and now I am feeling much more empowered, but the bottom line I think was that I was (1) avoiding facing the issues and work that were bugging me ; (2) I wasn’t taking time for myself (hello Martyr Liz); and (3) I wasn’t taking time to look around me and feel grateful for things.
So this morning, as I do almost every morning, I sat down for my meditation time (which I will admit I haven’t had in over a month because of the demands of work) and I looked out the window of my sun porch and NOTICED the beautiful yellow and orange trees outside my windows. Literally overnight they had gone from green to the amazing mix of colors, they are blazing with light and color and reminding me of the limitless capacity we all have for change. Feeling overwhelmed is only a feeling. Feelings are not facts, and they do not usually accurately represent where we are in our leaves. If the trees in my backyard can go from spring green to autumn blazing bold orange and gold overnight, than so can we. We can go from feeling overwhelmed, stuck, frustrated, anxious, or even despair at the stress in our lives presented by childlessness, infertility, infertility treatment, worries about follicle counts and E2 levels, birth mothers not returning our calls, our adoption cell phones not ringing, our agency calling to tell us our referral has been delayed (again) . . . whatever it is . . . to recognizing that we really are all okay, everything is perfect in our lives right now and that we are safe and not alone. It doesn’t take much. For me all it took was taking a break and looking and really seeing outside the window of my world. That tree changed overnight. Nothing is permanent or forever. Those leaves will be gone in a few days leaving me with new views to ponder. Tomorrow your E2 level will be different, you might get a call that a spot opened up on a dr’s wait list, or your referral might come in from your agency.
Take a moment and look at something outside of your normal consciousness. Something you take for granted, something you ignore. Notice how beautiful and miraculous it is. The write down what you noticed about it, and then write down everything that is making you feel overwhelmed or stuck.
Next, write down the opposite of everything that is making you feel overwhelmed or stuck. Write down the way you want it to be. That tree in my yard changed overnight. In a few days it will change again. It reminded me that our lives our fluid and constantly moving. Our feelings are just feelings. Write them down, then write down what you want the reality to be. I bet you anything that just like the blazing fire of autumnal glory outside my window that is transfixing me and inspiring me, the thing you look at will change your perspective as well and you will see or remember that the list of what you want is moving closer to you every second.
And if that didn’t work . . . just remember this adage someone once told me. Imagine you are swimming in the ocean toward the shore. But the current is so strong that as you swim you get no closer to land. However, every stroke of your arms and kick of your legs fighting that current is making your legs and arms stronger. When that current releases you, you will literally fly through the water toward the land at a speed you cannot comprehend right now. Every stroke is building muscle. Every breathe is keeping you strong. Because nothing is permanent and that current will disappear and you will be swimming faster toward your dreams and goals than you can even begin to comprehend now as you fight with that current. Surrender to the current.
Filed under: Peace to Parenthood
November 6, 2009 | By: Liz
Hey everyone, while I was away, Kristen and Emily were hard at work trying to figure out why we have all these registered users who cannot seem to be able to post. We had a worm on the site awhile ago and it seems the damage the worm did went a little deeper than we realized.
Anyone who has previously registered to be a user on this blog needs to register again. As of today, we have only 4 registered users, down from over a hundred. Please, please, please, take a minute and register again. I am so sorry for the inconvenience. But some mean person corrupted my blog. Once you register again you shouldn’t have any problems. You may not have even noticed . . . but we noticed and we miss you!
Once again, anyone who has previously a registered user on this blog is no longer registered due to a worm that corrupted the site. Please re-register and join our discussions!
November 6, 2009 | By: Liz
I have been off the blog travelling to various meetings for reproductive professionals, including ASRM and moderating a panel for the American Bar Association’s A.R.T. Committee addressing insurance issues in gestational carrier arrangements. I learned tons (for other posts) but came home exhausted and overwhelmed and of course the office was happily insane with new business. Of course the travelling and stress of long hours, on and off planes, in and out of cars, running through (or trying to walk through) convention centers, and tons of work meant my back went out . . . and I wound up in bed staring at the ceiling last weekend. But everyone needs a break — just wish mine had been on a beach in some tropical location. 😉
But I have been very productive in my absence with many new things to bring to the blog . . . first and foremost the e-Book on Egg Donation is almost done!!! Can you believe it! Kristen, my marketing guru, is gearing up for a big marketing campaign to let the world know that the first in my series of the Nuts and Bolts of A.R.T.: The Egg Donation e-Book is going to be coming to a computer or store near you very soon! Now’s the time to get in and get your free copy . . . email us at Info@Storklawyer.com and tell us you want a copy of The Egg Donation e-Book. We will add you to the mailing list when it’s available so you can download your copy. It will also be available (not immediately) in kindle format. I can’t believe we’re finally on the cusp of releasing this book that I have been working on for what feels like forever. WooHoo! By the way, it’s written for both intended parents and prospective egg donors.
Also in the news . . . on January 4th, 2010, The Stork Lawyer Connection will officially open for business. For years I have wanted to start my own egg donation agency but couldn’t reconcile myself to certain issues I have with the existing egg donation agency model. The Stork Lawyer Connection is a unique agency, with a new way of bringing donors together with intended parents. Our website is almost done, our staff is together, and we’re so excited. I am so excited! Keep an eye out for our press release, and for information on The Stork Lawyer Connection coming to a mailbox, doctor’s office, or computer near you!
Congrats to Ms. Samantha Hill, the newest associate in my law office, who found out yesterday that she passed the New York State Bar Exam! Sam was an intern in my office during law school and joined us when Danielle took a leave of absence. Sam, I am very proud of you! Rumor has it that another former intern passed the bar as well . . . so our congratulations also go out to Ms. Sarah Thomas . . . character and fitness forms are on their way ladies! CONGRATULATIONS SAM AND SARAH – YOU DID IT – YOU PASSED THE BAR!
There are lots of infertility and adoption events going on right about now. The RESOLVE of the Bay State Chapter is holding it’s annual conference this weekend. We send some goodies up for the auction, but anyone reading in the Boston area should head over to the conference (Nov 7th). We hope to be there in person next year, but this year with the conference coming on the heals of my trip to Montreal to speak at the American Bar Association, and attend the 65th Annual Meeting of ASRM in Atlanta, we just couldn’t do it. Those goodies we sent are pretty awesome though. Free consultations on adoption, a free egg donation contract, free signed copies of The Infertility Survival Handbook and The Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption . . . I hope we made up for not being there in person. Concerned Persons for Adoption is having their annual conference (also the 11/7) in New Jersey at Rutgers University. I wasn’t able to attend that event either, but we did send handouts on what you need to know about third party assisted reproduction and adoption in NY and NJ and an offer for copy of one of my books.
I will be speaking and have an exhibition table at the annual APC Conference, held this year in Brooklyn, NY at St. Francis College on November 22nd. I will be speaking on Adoptive Breast Feeding and Marketing and Targeting in Adoption: how, when and where to find a birth family.
We’re also working on changes to the Stork Lawyer website. All the web site design for The Stork Lawyer Connection has me wanting to freshen up the Stork Lawyer site as well (plus we have to add all our new staff!!).
I am off now to post a general blurby blog and to work on the website for The Stork Lawyer Connection. Oh yeah, I have homework for my coach too (maybe something to blog about)! And another sweater to knit for a client . . . TGIF!
Breathe Liz, just breathe!
Filed under: Current Affairs