Never, Ever Give Up
October 29, 2014 | By: Liz | Filed under: adoption, Age and Infertility, Egg Donation, Faith and Infertility, IVF, Peace to Parenthood, Personal Musings, Surrogacy, Thinking Out Loud, Thoughts on Choosing an Egg Donor
Today is one of those days where I wish I could make all the hurt and pain go away for one of my clients. For today, everything seems to be falling apart on their path to parenthood. The thing is, I cannot count the number of clients I have had who have been in similar situations — afraid that they had run out of options or run out of money — and we found a way, they perservered for another day and then another day after that until I got the glorious news that they finally had a baby on the way (whether through egg donation, surrogacy or adoption).
With everyone of those clients I refused to give up, I refused to let them give up. Because I have seen so, so many of those “never gonna happen to me/us” situations have a happy ending.
More to the point, I have spoken with so many of those parents who, in the end, were grateful for all the mishaps, all the donors who changed their mind or were screened-out, the changing of surrogates after two failed embryo transfers with only one embryo left . . . whatever the situation was (and there are so many I am not even going to begin to try and describe them all–you know how hard this can be), every single time when I got the call to tell me the joyous news, my client express grattitude for all the mishaps. GRATTITUDE. Because but for those mishaps, they wouldn’t be holding THIS baby, at this moment, and they couldn’t imagine not having THIS baby.
This happened to me too. Had one of our adoptions not been disrupted (as in the baby went back to its birth mother after placement), I wouldn’t have the family I have today. I loved that baby but I love THIS family more.
Whatever happens on your path, whenever you have a crappy-puts-you-over-the-edge-you-can’t-take-it-anymore-this-is-never-going-to-happen-for-me kind of day, remember that tomorrow is a new day with a new opportunity. That there are more options and more choices, you just have to keep looking and putting one foot in front of the other. It may suck today but one day, it might all actually make sense. At the very least, one day you will know that but for all that came before, you wouldn’t be holding THIS baby.
So this my advice for today:
Never, Ever Give Up. At least that’s what the sign above my desk says, and I believe it says it all.
(I like this necklace too)