Where do I begin?

March 23, 2007 | By: Elizabeth

I had a horrendous week.  Really probably one of the most stressful and awful weeks I’ve had since I started this practice and probably one of the top three worst professional weeks I’ve had since I started practicing law in 1993.  It started with the usual stuff, clients who needed things yesterday, agencies with requests for any number of things which were completely normal and manageable but everyone seemed to want their requests handled that second and everyone seemed to have multiple requests that needed to be handled, Judges who wanted things the way they wanted them because they had that power never mind the stress and emotional turmoil they were causing my clients (gee, Ms. Falker let’s have your clients jump through another four hoops before we finalize this adoption even though everything they’ve done so far has been perfectly perfect), and then there was some not-so-nice stuff that is resolved but required me to dig deep and bite my tongue and assert myself at the same time (not an easy thing to do) and ultimately resulted in the not-so-amicable parting of partners (it’s for the best but why does this stuff always get so ugly?).  (I know I am being vague.  part of that is because there are things I can’t talk about because I am bound by privilege and part of it is because I just don’t want to piss anyone else off this week by venting in a public forum (I promised people I wouldn’t permit anyone to rant or vent or flame on this blog).)

It didn’t help that it was freezing and snowy all week. Spring, yeah right!  I didn’t even want to leave the office to get lunch because it was so nasty out and wound up eating junk food, sucking back extra Starbucks, or not eating at all because I didn’t have time.

The weird thing is, in all of the stress there seemed to be one theme.  Everyone was starting over.  And it was hard for everyone of us involved in whomever’s drama was unfolding at that moment; there was always too much too do and not enough time and emotions were running unbelievably high (does anyone know if Mercury was retrograde this week? There has to be some weird astrological explanation for the unusual stress and anxiety and pace this week dumped on me!!).  But now that it’s all over and I am sitting here trying to recover and piece it all together, I am also realizing that it was really cool.  It was a week of new beginnings and new challenges.  Putting aside the lack of sleep (for once I can’t blame this on my kids) from stress . . . everyone with whom I worked was entering a new phase in their journey to parenthood (or as the case may be, helping someone else become a parent) and there was excitement and uber excitement at every turn.   

More than one client was starting over with a new agency after having been "burned" at/by their old agency.  They called needing any number of things (all urgent of course) but they were excited about the promise presented by their new agency.  Many of the clients had not yet selected their egg donor or gestational carrier and wanted to talk about what goes into picking the right person for the job.  They also wanted to talk about how different it was working with their new agency or with an agency after pursuing their path to parenthood independently.  They were excited.  New chances at parenthood, new opportunity.

Adoptions were moving closer to finalization — albeit with bumps in the road that we needed to sort out.  Babies were getting ready to be born and/or go home with their new mom and dad.  People were nervous and tense but it was also very exciting (although I do wish one judge’s chambers had called me back on one question we had this week so that my clients weren’t left hanging all weekend *sigh*).

And then there were people parting ways and moving on without each other.  The change is good for them, and much needed, but came with accusations and ugliness.

And then there was my life.  Someone suggested to me that I buy an egg donation agency.  In a normal week, I would have dismissed it out of hand but this week was so bizarre that I am actually considering it.  Another new opportunity and excitement . . . even if I don’t pursue this opportunity it’s put me in a more expansive state of mind.  Just as my clients are preparing to move into major new phases of their lives so am I. 

Yeah it was a weird stressful sucky week.  But despite the snow outside my office window, maybe Spring and the promise of new beginnings it brings is really here after all.  ?????

Filed under: Thinking Out Loud