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Is the movie Eggsploitation, exploiting itself?
January 14, 2011 | By: Elizabeth
I know I haven’t been blogging very much and I know I keep promising that I will. Honestly, I have been trying to determine what type of “voice” I want my blog to have. Do I want to be a voice of comfort, reassurance and peace of mind, do I want to discuss topics that are highly relevant and even personal to me with respect to infertility as I am an infertility warrior, or do I want to speak as an expert in my field and educate people. I suppose I could find a way to do all three and I haven’t yet found the right “pitch” (just continuing the voice metaphor here folks) to launch some knew blogs. And I think I found it.
I try and stay out of highly controversial discussions in my industry and to avoid taking sides unless I feel passionately about the issue. Sometimes blogging backfires (ala Sarah Palin’s recent “hit list” and the resulting death of 15 people). But I have come across another of those issues that MUST be discussed, so I am hereby entering into the foray and it’s along the lines of my “what was Brooke Shields thinking” blogs.
Let’s get real for a moment and turn to a movie reel about egg donation.
I today learned that the “documentary” Eggsploitation was announced to have been nominated as best documentary. When I read this on FaceBook this morning I almost vomitted. For those of you who haven’t seen it . . . and please don’t see it if you are considering either becoming an egg donor or using an egg donor to build a family . . . it is highly inaccurate and inflammatory. Please understand that I am trying to be nice.
The movie is an attempt by right wing, pro-life. Christian conservatives to reveal the “real world of egg donation”. And Honey, it doesn’t. It serves one purpose only, to promote an anti-IVF anti-egg donation agenda. And in my mind it isn’t a documentary unless you are basing your documentary on something with a substantial amount of truth or accuracy. A documentary by one definition is the “creative treatment of actuality”. I will agree to the creative part with respect to this film, but not the actuality part (with one caveat, I will agree that egg donation exists as a means to build a family). Another definition says that a documentary presents the facts with little or no additions. Isn’t it a failure to present the facts if you only present one side, or one statistically insignificant, rare and otherwise atypical aspect of something, i.e. ONE fact when there are many facts to be discussed?
This film is based on untruths, inaccuracies, mythical stories, and an agenda. It veils itself as a documentary in order to lend some false sense of “truth” to the movie’s topic, the exploitation of egg donors and recipient families all to the benefit of the massive money generating industry of reproductive medicine.
The reproductive industry has responded many times in opposition to the film, as have many of my colleagues (for example, here is another blog on the topic http://weblog.prospectivefamilies.com/2011/01/13/what-more-is-there-to-say-about-eggsploitation/ ). I think it’s pretty much a universal sentiment in my world, both professional and personal, that this movie has nothing to do with reality and is serving to mislead the general public about a viable and very successful means of family building, egg donation.
I really think it has gotten to the point that the movie is now exploiting itself for its own financial benefit. They are now twisting all the negative media attention into an argument that if they weren’t so “right” about the industry that there wouldn’t be so many defensive and anti-Eggsploitation blogs/articles/reviews. It’s kind of like the old saying “you know you’ve done something right if they’re shooting at you!” And they are using that to drive more people into movie theaters.
Well I don’t think they’ve done anything right, I am disgusted by the MOVIE, and I am disgusted that anyone would think it was worthy of the title “best” in anything. I haven’t spoken out before because I didn’t want to further publicize this movie and thus encourage people to watch it — even if it is to see how wrong it is.
And for the love of all that is sacred about the word FAMILY, I respectfully request that the movie industry get a grip and get real. Don’t endorse this movie. Many a Hollywood family has been created through the gift of egg donation. Do you really want to slap your egg donor in the face like that? By promoting, endorsing, and casting something that she did to help you have a baby and a family, in such a negative, illicit and patronizing light?
I’m not saying the world of reproductive medicine is perfect. I have some bones to pick with things that happen in the world in which work. And I will cut the producers of this movie and Hollywood some slack and say that if you are going to focus on the very creative aspects of the use of truth to create a dialog (albeit the wrong dialog) then okay maybe this is a documentary. But it’s a documentary that I refuse to endorse on any level.
Someone can, and should, do a better job at looking at the gifts that third party assisted reproduction are giving to infertile families.
Blech Blech Blech.
Filed under: Announcements, Check This Out, Current Affairs, Egg Donation, I'm Just Another Angry Infertile Woman, In the News, Infertility In The Movies etc., IVF, Personal Musings, Thinking Out Loud, Third-Party Assisted Reproduction
More “Octomom” Fall-Out, should her doctor lose his license?
October 16, 2010 | By: Elizabeth
According to a report in a Los Angeles newspaper today, the Octomom’s doctor is facing a hearing on Monday where he may lose his license. Personally, I think what he did was malpractice and showed tremendous lack of forethought regarding the impact on this woman’s life and her family. I don’t know that he could have predicted the societal impact and the repercussion in the reproductive medical industry. But I wanted to know what you think!
With all the recent emphasis on single embryo transfer, and avoidance of multiple pregnancy (a twin pregnancy is now considered a management failure at some IVF Clinics), should patients in consultation with their doctors be the ones to choose to how many embryos to transfer or should doctors face regulation or possible loss of their medical license for listening to their patient when she asks to have multiple embryos transferred when it might be advisable to limit the number transferred?
Here’s the link to the article for more info:#mce_temp_url#
(in case the link doesn’t work, cut and paste this URL http://www.whittierdailynews.com/news/ci_16351124)
Filed under: Check This Out, Current Affairs, In the News, Infertility on Television, Personal Musings, Thinking Out Loud
Tags: Economy, hollywood, infertility, IVF, Success rates
Someone Just Published a Great Article De-Mystifying Infertility and the NOvary. You need to read it!
October 15, 2010 | By: Elizabeth
Joanna Weiss of the Boston Globe just wrote a wonderful article validating the experience of being infertile and the shame and awkwardness that women feel, even today in 2010. Acknowledging that there are many factors involved in infertility (not everyone is fighting that NOvary™ ), she also talks about how Hollywood and actresses over 40 who are not disclosing the assistance they “might” have received, or those (for example, JLo) who have openly slammed infertility despite suspected use of IVF services, aren’t helping matters.
I’d like to thank Ms. Weiss and the Boston Globe for publishing this article. I have a lot of thoughts – as you know – about the role that movies and actresses who experience infertility play in perpetuating the shame. I know as an attorney in this industry that many women who conceive using an egg donor may not have the ability to speak openly about it as a result of their egg donation agreement which requires them to maintain silence to preserve anonymity and confidentiality of the parties involved. There is also a strong argument to be made that this is a private matter involving family, and a child’s conception, both of which are sacred issues to be shared when and how that family deems appropriate.
But the law and common sense don’t necessarily apply the same standards to those who seek the limelight. I would like those public figures who are considering using egg donation – or those who are experiencing battles with infertility of all kinds, not just your dreaded biological clock and the NOvary™ – to reconsider their position. You can draft an egg donation agreement that permits you to acknowledge that you received assistance through IVF or even third-party assisted reproduction and you can do it while maintaining the privacy and confidentiality of your egg donation arrangement.
But there is more to this than whether someone can disclose we went through an egg donation. As Ms. Weiss points out the real question remains, why won’t anyone do it?
In 2010 why is it still a stigma to have problems conceiving? Federal Courts acknowledge that infertility is a disability. Infertility is a disease! While we are all in pain and do want to protect ourselves and our hearts from the sadness we are coping with, if we all came out of the closet, wouldn’t it be easier to get through it in the first place? You wouldn’t have to avoid eye contact with everyone else in your clinic’s waiting room (I hated that!!!), you could make friends (one of my BFF was made during IF treatment and I wouldn’t go back for a second if it would mean I would not have gotten a chance to meet this woman), you could have SUPPORT.
This is not a shameful thing. We all need to stand together and tell insurance companies to get with it (if a federal judge can figure this out than an insurance company can – I bet there would be a huge spike in enrollment in insurance companies that offered coverage, and I bet it would ultimately lower the cost of care and not cause it to rise as some have posited recently), and tell each other it’s okay.
Ms. Weiss suggests that when our kids are older and in school they will know about IVF and ICSI. I want her to know that in my little world, my kids’ friends already know about this and the moms do discuss it. Even those moms who didn’t have trouble conceiving are well educated, informed and supportive (for the most part). It is coming out of the closet, but it’s coming out after the fact, after the pain is over. That’s not right.
12 million of us are experience this journey. If you are experiencing infertility today, you’re in good company. Just read the latest tabloid journal about whatever 40+ actress just gave birth to twins, or whatever 45+ actress gave birth to a singleton. Chances are the 40+ actress had some help. And I am pretty sure that the 45+ actresses did have help.
Why keep it a secret? Who are we helping? We certainly are not helping our children who might one day be faced with this too. I remember my grandmother once telling me that no one discussed miscarriages because it was so shameful to have one, so you just went through it alone, crying in the bathroom and absorbing obnoxious, patriarchal comments from your doctor. She was envious that women today are so open about miscarriage. I’m not sure I agree with her that we are open about miscarriage or that we are honest enough about any of this. But she’s right we are making progress at least with respect to miscarriage and pregnancy loss. But it’s not enough. Ms. Weiss has written a wonderful article and I for one am very grateful for her openness.
You can read the article at: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2010/10/10/the_world_of_fertility/
Thank you Ms. Weiss!
Filed under: Uncategorized
