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Is the movie Eggsploitation, exploiting itself?

January 14, 2011 | By:

I know I haven’t been blogging very much and I know I keep promising that I will.  Honestly, I have been trying to determine what type of “voice” I want my blog to have.  Do I want to be a voice of comfort, reassurance and peace of mind, do I want to discuss topics that are highly relevant and even personal to me with respect to infertility as I am an infertility warrior, or do I want to speak as an expert in my field and educate people.  I suppose I could find a way to do all three and I haven’t yet found the right “pitch” (just continuing the voice metaphor here folks) to launch some knew blogs.  And I think I found it.

I try and stay out of highly controversial discussions in my industry and to avoid taking sides unless I feel passionately about the issue.  Sometimes blogging backfires (ala Sarah Palin’s recent “hit list” and the resulting death of 15 people).  But I have come across another of those issues that MUST be discussed, so I am hereby entering into the foray and it’s along the lines of my “what was Brooke Shields thinking” blogs.

Let’s get real for a moment and turn to a movie reel about egg donation.

I today learned that the “documentary” Eggsploitation was announced to have been nominated as best documentary.  When I read this on FaceBook this morning I almost vomitted.  For those of you who haven’t seen it . . . and please don’t see it if you are considering either becoming an egg donor or using an egg donor to build a family . . . it is highly inaccurate and inflammatory.  Please understand that I am trying to be nice.

The movie is an attempt by right wing, pro-life. Christian conservatives to reveal the “real world of egg donation”.  And Honey, it doesn’t.  It serves one purpose only, to promote an anti-IVF anti-egg donation agenda.  And in my mind it isn’t a documentary unless you are basing your documentary on something with a substantial amount of truth or accuracy.  A documentary by one definition is the “creative treatment of actuality”.  I will agree to the creative part with respect to this film, but not the actuality part (with one caveat, I will agree that egg donation exists as a means to build a family).  Another definition says that a documentary presents the facts with little or no additions.  Isn’t it a failure to present the facts if you only present one side, or one statistically insignificant, rare and otherwise atypical aspect of something, i.e. ONE fact when there are many facts to be discussed?

This film is based on untruths, inaccuracies, mythical stories, and an agenda. It veils itself as a documentary in order to lend some false sense of “truth” to the movie’s topic, the exploitation of egg donors and recipient families all to the benefit of the massive money generating industry of reproductive medicine.

The reproductive industry has responded many times in opposition to the film, as have many of my colleagues (for example, here is another blog on the topic http://weblog.prospectivefamilies.com/2011/01/13/what-more-is-there-to-say-about-eggsploitation/ ).  I think it’s pretty much a universal sentiment in my world, both professional and personal, that this movie has nothing to do with reality and is serving to mislead the general public about a viable and very successful means of family building, egg donation.

I really think it has gotten to the point that the movie is now exploiting itself for its own financial benefit.   They are now twisting all the negative media attention into an argument that if they weren’t so “right” about the industry that there wouldn’t be so many defensive and anti-Eggsploitation blogs/articles/reviews.  It’s kind of like the old saying “you know you’ve done something right if they’re shooting at you!”  And they are using that to drive more people into movie theaters.

Well I don’t think they’ve done anything right, I am disgusted by the MOVIE, and I am disgusted that anyone would think it was worthy of the title “best” in anything.  I haven’t spoken out before because I didn’t want to further publicize this movie and thus encourage people to watch it — even if it is to see how wrong it is.

And for the love of all that is sacred about the word FAMILY, I respectfully request that the movie industry get a grip and get real.  Don’t endorse this movie.  Many a Hollywood family has been created through the gift of egg donation.  Do you really want to slap your egg donor in the face like that?  By promoting, endorsing, and casting something that she did to help you have a baby and a family, in such a negative, illicit and patronizing light?

I’m not saying the world of reproductive medicine is perfect.  I have some bones to pick with things that happen in the world in which work.  And I will cut the producers of this movie and Hollywood some slack and say that if you are going to focus on the very creative aspects of the use of truth to create a dialog (albeit the wrong dialog) then okay maybe this is a documentary.  But it’s a documentary that I refuse to endorse on any level.

Someone can, and should, do a better job at looking at the gifts that third party assisted reproduction are giving to infertile families.

Blech Blech Blech.

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More “Octomom” Fall-Out, should her doctor lose his license?

October 16, 2010 | By:

According to a report in a Los Angeles newspaper today, the Octomom’s doctor is facing a hearing on Monday where he may lose his license.  Personally, I think what he did was malpractice and showed tremendous lack of forethought regarding the impact on this woman’s life and her family.  I don’t know that he could have predicted the societal impact and the repercussion in the reproductive medical industry.  But I wanted to know what you think!

With all the recent emphasis on single embryo transfer, and avoidance of multiple pregnancy (a twin pregnancy is now considered a management failure at some IVF Clinics), should patients in consultation with their doctors be the ones to choose to how many embryos to transfer or should doctors face regulation or possible loss of their medical license for listening to their patient when she asks to have multiple embryos transferred when it might be advisable to limit the number transferred?

Here’s the link to the article for more info:#mce_temp_url#

(in case the link doesn’t work, cut and paste this URL  http://www.whittierdailynews.com/news/ci_16351124)

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Why does Jennifer Aniston’s quest to be a mother inspire me so?

August 19, 2010 | By:

Everyone knows that I am fan of Jennifer’s.  I actually probably wouldn’t be married to my DH if it wasn’t for some advice her mom gave me a long time ago.  But seriously, Jennifer is an extraordinary woman in all respects, and from my perspective even more so for the way she is approaching her quest to be a mom.

At 41, most of know that Jennifer is likely to be facing some fertility issues (although with her health conscious lifestyle and yoga-bod maybe she’s found the way to turn back time, she sure looks it anyway!).  While most of us would be doing a little freak-out dance now, and panicking about the ticking time bomb that are our ovaries, Ms. Aniston seems anything but panicked.  In fact, she seems rather Zen about it all.  And that is exactly my point and what inspires me.

First, the woman KNOWS she is going to be a mom.  One way or another the woman has total and complete faith that she will become a mom.  Rather than spiraling into depression (as I did and many of us do), Jennifer has seemed to have found a way to let go and TRUST.  This is, I think, the gateway to success.

I really truly believe that it is when you completely accept and embrace the concept that you will be a mother, no matter what and no matter how (IUI, IVF, IVF donor egg, gestational surrogacy, adoption, whatever is your path), that fertility treatments have the highest success rates.  Study after study shows that the mind-body connection cannot and should not be ignored.  Women who are able to be in the place that Jennifer Aniston seems to be in, are the women who are more likely to succeed with fertility treatments.  It’s fact not fiction.  I know — as does JA — that she’s got an edge on success that I wish more of my friends and clients had: The inner-knowingness of the inevitability of their impending state of motherhood.

Another thing that I think sets her apart from many of us (and I include myself in this group when I was in the first 4 or 5 years of treatment), is that by all media accounts, she seems fairly open to many different paths to parenthood.  I am not privy to her conversations with her BFF’s but I am guessing that there isn’t much she isn’t considering about how she’s going to become a mom.  That too puts her on the fast track to “mommydom”.  Not all of us can be as enlightened and confident as she is, and I am not saying that she doesn’t have her moments of . . . doubt  . . . but I really think that the confidence and openness that Jennifer Aniston is talking about whenever she is interviewed about becoming a mom is something that tells me it ain’t gonna be long before she’s announcing the arrival or the impending arrival of a little baby Aniston.

And for what its worth, I think she’s a fantastic role model for every woman, single or married, over the age of 35 who’s trying to become a mom.

ASSUME IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, AND IT WILL.

p.s. and when you can’t totally assume it will happen, fake it, fake it until you make-it  . . . because that’s another sure fire way to get your mommy-Zen fire burning.

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