Let me Introduce Myself
June 4, 2007 | By: Danielle
Hello everyone! This is my first post on the blog, so let me start with a short introduction. My name is Danielle, and I am an associate in Liz’s office. I started working with Liz as an intern during my last year of law school at Pace University, and never left! I really enjoy the work that we do; as an attorney, it gives me such joy that I can actually help my clients build their families. What an amazing job!
Part of what I like so much about this job is the fact that I get to deal with clients on a daily basis. This is such an exciting and emotional time in our clients’ lives, and I am privileged to be a small part of it. While much of our client base is made up of intended parents, we do also represent our fair share of donors. I really enjoy working with the donors. I think on some level it may be because I can relate to them more – I am just out of law school, have a crushing student loan debt, and have not yet started to even think about building my own family. I find that most of the donors we work with (of course there are exceptions), are in the same situation and same point in their life as I am.
Lately, there has been much discussion and controversy over whether donors should be compensated for their donation of eggs. The New York Times wrote an article on it. They talked about it on The View. The general concern is that potential egg donors – girls in the same life and financial situation as me – can be blinded by the promise of some “fast cash” and agree to cycle after cycle of egg donation, without ever giving thought to the fact that they are helping to create human beings that are genetically related them, and without thinking about the possible consequences to their own fertility of multiple egg donation cycles.
I get a little defensive when these types of stories pop up. Sure, there are donors who are purely doing this for the money. And sure, if compensation for egg donors suddenly became illegal, there would probably be a much smaller pool of women willing to donate. But, from my experiences, and from the experiences of those I’ve talked to, many of the women who have chosen to become egg donors have not taken this decision lightly. They are intelligent, caring, thoughtful women, and they know that what they are doing is so much more than just making a quick buck.
I am always so (pleasantly) surprised after speaking with a donor. Much of the conversations I have with them are, obviously, about their contract with the intended parents. The donors I have been lucky enough to work with have all shown me that they are taking this process very seriously – they have well-thought-out comments and concerns about the process and the legalities. They also genuinely care about the intended parents they are cycling with, and whether the intended parents will have a successful cycle or not. On the whole, the donors I have worked with are wonderful people.
So…when talk on the View turns to rumors about donors demanding $60,000 for their eggs, I shake my head in disgust. It is my hope that intended parents considering using donor eggs do not get discouraged by the “horror stories”, and realize that most donors are doing this for the right reasons – to help make their dreams of building their family a reality.
Filed under: Egg Donation
And again, just to press my point: do not call it a donation!!
A quick story…
I am a woman who went through Breast Cancer at the young age of 36, right when I was going to get pregnant. I couldn’t, obviously. And, BTW, my cancer was not genetic, I know it.
So, after 3 years of hell, and you only know what this hell is after you’ve gone through it, I discovered myself in perimenopause with very little chance of getting pregnant. Now, having spent thousands and thousands of dollars on my treatment, do you think I have another 30K to spend?
So, tell me. Where is this marvelous soul that will help my lifelong dream of becoming a mother?
There is no such a thing, dear. There is business. There is a SALE. Just own to it.
On December 5, 2009 at 1:47 am